In no way am I going to generalise it. I am aware that I am making a bold statement\u2026maybe an inappropriate one? But I need to make it anyway. I need to record this time in my life and how I have surprised myself thoroughly with how I have responded to it. More important than the account of what happened, I feel like I need a moment to pat myself on the back and this blog is basically my way of doing it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve watched Jab We Met at least 40 times in the past 23 years of my life and through all the rewatches, something that always struck out like a sore thumb was the line \u2018mai apni hi favourite hoon\u2019. Why did it stick out? Cause I never felt like I would ever be able to relate to it. I have a hundred favourite things but I was never going to be a part of that list, was something I had made my peace with. It\u2019s fine. Who cares. I don\u2019t need to be my own favourite person, do I? Turns out\u2026.amongst the dark days, I emerged with a new sense of respect for myself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Despite the shit show that\u2019s running parallelly, I am able to identify qualities within myself that I didn\u2019t know I was capable of. Grief has taught me the level of compassion I can have despite having a storm brewing within me. Grief has taught me that I can withstand the pain while working on a number of deadlines. Grief has taught me that despite what happens to me, I\u2019m incapable of hatred but instead I have the power to see that what they do to me is nothing but a reflection of themselves. Above all, grief has taught me that even though it feels like the world is ending, I can still have the ability to forgive. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I used to stand in front of the mirror, begging for the mirror to change its reflection into a girl who looked far more beautiful than what I saw. I said, \u2018if I had longer hair\u2026I\u2019d love myself\u2019 or \u2018If I had a slimmer waist\u2026I\u2019d love myself\u2019. Turns out, I didn\u2019t need any of that. I needed grief. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I needed to have my heart ripped from my chest. I needed to experience what it was like to have everything taken away\u2026only to understand that even if I had myself in the whole world – I\u2019d be enough. I\u2019d be enough because I am strong as hell. And I don\u2019t mean strong in a way that you\u2019d never see me crumble. I crumble and how. But that\u2019s another blog for another day. I just mean that despite the tough phases, I\u2019m here. I\u2019m alive. I\u2019m breathing. I\u2019m only moving forward. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Today, I look at myself in the mirror and see the invisible bruises covering all over my body and I am thankful for the blows. Thankful because I can finally stop noticing everything that\u2019s wrong with me and affirm everything that is right. I can finally appreciate the struggle that comes with being the person I am and know that only I have the power to overcome that. I look in the mirror and see an extremely compassionate and strong woman and I love her. I respect her. I am proud to be her. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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